Fourth Aspect of True Love

The final one of the four aspects of love is Upeksha, meaning freedom.

When love is true, both people within the couple should have freedom, and feel free within the relationship. Each person should feel free to be an individual to allow them to grow and develop in their own way. This allows you to be yourself and have time alone, safe in the knowledge that your love is doing the same. There should also be freedom within the relationship, being able to feel comfortable to share ideas and thoughts without fear of judgment. Having freedom whilst also being able to be a part of a couple is a sign of the truest love.

To develop this, spend time apart from your partner without feeling the need to check up on one another. Do the things that you enjoy as an individual and are proud of. Once you come back together, discuss these things and why they make you happy.

Spend some time talking about different thoughts and ideas you have had. Act on these ideas and plan activities that one person wants to do. Developing a sense of freedom within your relationship allows both people to grow.

The Buddha spoke of many things, but love and life were of huge focus. His teachings on love show us that true love should be something positive and enlightening, bringing joy and freedom to our lives. Keeping these four elements of love in mind may just make it a little easier to find true love for ourselves.

Third Aspect of True Love.

I have been MIA for a little bit, but I figured I better step it back up and finish out the Four Aspects of True Love.

Mudita, translated as joy or happiness. This element of true love is one of the most important, and in some ways, it ties all four elements together. If there is no joy or happiness in love, then the love is not true. If your love upsets you or distresses you, then it is, in fact, not love to begin with, or the love has been lost. Love must be fulfilling and bring joy and happiness to those who feel it.

When we are in love and we experience joy from it, our love grows stronger, and this is a sign that the love is true. Once there is no joy or happiness in love, then there is no longer any love.

Develop this element. Take time to do the things that bring you joy, both together and as individuals. It is this development of joy in yourself that allows you to share your joywith your love. You should be able to find joy within yourselves, as well as with each other, to have love in its truest form.

If joy has been lost it can be found again. It takes going back to the first 2 aspects. Figuring out where the joy went.

Second Aspect Karuna

The second aspect is karuna, which means compassion. Once again, it isn’t just wanting to ease the suffering of another person but being able to actually make that happen. The idea is that you can’t make that happen unless you look deeply into that person, spending time and meditating to gain an understanding so that you become able to stop their suffering.

When we speak of compassion it implies that we see someone suffering and we are unable to help them. With compassion you are only able to sit by their side through com-bined passion to feel their suffering with them. Karuna is (like the other aspects) focused around establishing that connection and understanding, but also finding the capacity to transform the pain within your loved one.


Listen closely.
To treat someone’s emotional suffering all you need to do is to actively listen, engage in the dialogue by echoing their words and to give them space to continue to express themselves. Ultimately anyone in suffering is not always going to be looking for an answer. They are looking for someone to just listen to them in order to build that bridge of understanding. Without the ability to understand and the capacity to help transform pain you are only bringing more despair and suffering.

Four Aspects of True Love

In the Buddhist faith, there are four elements of love that make it ‘true’ love. These elements must combine to make love true and long-lasting.

They are not magical or even spiritual concepts, they are simply behaviors and virtues that we must hold in order to make love strong.

These four elements of love are easy to grasp, but they make a relationship much more joyful and fulfilling.

Maitri is the first aspect. It basically means kindness, benevolence. You have the desire to make someone happy, but you also have the ability to make them unhappy. So many times the way we love someone is not the way they should be loved, and we end up making them unhappy instead of happy. I’m sure you can think of many situations that loving someone has made them unhappy.

You can truly gain insight into the person you love by understanding them, by understanding who they are as a person, By understanding the person you love, you will, in turn, learn how to love them.

Take the time to watch your love, just be attentive to them. Listen to their words and ask them about their hopes and ambitions, the more you learn about your love helps to open the door to understanding them, and how to love them in a meaningful and fulfilling way.

Meditate, spend some time thinking of how you can actively listen and be attentive to your love. Try to catch the moments in the stillness while they are doing something they love. When you ask about their hopes and dreams make sure you are really listening. You don’t have to make comments on them just acknowledge them.

4th Aim Moksha

Moksha is freedom. It is about becoming self liberated, and is considered to be the peak of the four purusharthas. This is not just freedom from suffering, but also freedom to be yourself. Typically, when the other 3 aims of life are in balance, moksha comes naturally. Feeling peace in the middle of any storm, calmness in chaos and total relief from suffering is moksha.

The concept of moksha is closely tied to self-acceptance and the consciousness of oneness with all existence. Once a person reaches this state, he/she has found freedom, peace and bliss. The Eight Limbs of Yoga outlined by Patanjali in his Yoga Sutras can be interpreted as the steps on the path to attaining moksha.

Can you imagine the feeling of being totally free? Would love to hear some others thoughts on this one.

This is it for the 4 Aims. I hope you enjoyed the info.

Namaste

Aim 3

Our third Aim is Kama. Kama is pleasure. Kama is anything that brings you pleasure. It can be a love of cars, intimacy or hanging out with others, laughter, a kind experience or anything else that makes you smile. Of the four Purusharthas, kama is the one most easily brought out of balance. Too much of anything can lead to self-sabotage, causing addiction, greed or simply overindulgence. Kama must be used for the greater good of self and others, and to logically support dharma.

Since we are here to become one with the universe, or with a power greater than ourselves, we know our life’s true purpose. Yet, it’s never about the destination, and always about the journey. As we sail through our own personal journeys, we find many opportunities for kama, or pleasure. There will be times we go overboard and overindulge, and (hopefully most) times that we handle ourselves with grace and dignity. Through it all, you cannot live a fulfilled life without kama.

There are so many different tiers of kama. Kama could mean something as simple as a piece of chocolate cake. It could be watching a beautiful sunset. It could be a walk on the beach. It could be a night of passion and sex. To find kama, we have to delve deeply within ourselves and find out what we are passionate about. Honestly and shamelessly ask yourself where you derive pleasure and what you look forward to. You will begin to put together your kama. You will start to align your kama with your dharma and indulge in that which supports your overall life purpose, and not takes away.

Can you think of ways that your Kama might get out of balance? Have you noted a specific overindulgence that has effected your dharma? Would love to hear some experiences y’all have had.

Aim 2

I know I’m a day late. I was supposed to write this yesterday, but lol real life work prevented my creative side from emerging. So today I will talk about the second Aim of life.

So we started off with Dharma the first Aim which if you recall means duty, or responsibility. The second is Artha. Artha is prosperity. Artha can be defined as “wealth,” “prosperity,” or “success.” When we talk about artha, we are talking about material things — money, homes, cars, clothing, etc. Artha is everything you need to support you in your dharma. Simply put, artha is the stuff we need to be supported and at ease in this world and to carry out our purpose in life.

Artha would mean something different for all of us. In our culture, there are many different lifestyles, and therefore artha often takes on different meaning for different people. For a yogi, artha includes dedicated time and place to practice. Someone who is a salesperson might need a nice suit, professional haircuts, and a nice briefcase. A Chef will need the best knives, folders for recipes, cooking wares.

Money and material things are not bad, and in no way does yoga philosophy intend to send that message. We don’t need to sell everything and go live in an ashram. Artha is a necessary part of life. Without it, we would be miserable and under significant stress, which would be detrimental to our health and overall well being. You need artha to carry out your dharma. Without artha, you cannot take care of your family or other duties and obligations. What we want to avoid is greed, and that insatiable appetite for more. As a society dominated by material conquests and the urge to always gather more things. We have to figure out how to find balance between having what we need to support our dharma and our lifestyle, without becoming preoccupied with a hunger for more. We have to look inside ourselves. Remember we talked about self study and knowing who we are and live with honesty. Well here it is. Find out why you are hungering for material objects. Are you feeling something missing in your soul that you are trying to replace or make yourself feel better? Contentment with what we have is essential.

So to understand artha, it is necessary to first have an understanding of dharma. We have to figure out what our dharma is, then we can begin to look at our artha. Contemplate what you need to carry out your dharma. Think about your material possessions and ask yourself if you are content or you feel you need more. What purpose do your things serve in your life? Cars, apartments, towels, soap (yes soap) — these are all important items you need to carry out your dharma. If you have so many things that they cause you stress and drain you of energy and happiness, then those things are no longer serving you. As you begin this internal quest, you will learn what it is you truly value.

I have found while working through the yoga philosophy so much about myself already. I found that I bought things to make myself feel good, it was a quick pick me up to replace a feeling. I’m working on my dharma as we speak, and my artha has changed as well. I can easily tell when I’m wanting something just because or if I’m needing something to help me accomplish my dharma. I find myself being able to say no to just wanting something with no reason for it.

Let me know about your feelings on this, how you think you are doing with your artha.

Namaste.

Purusharthas: The Four Aims of Life

So let’s talk some more about Yoga philosophy, according to yoga philosophy, there are four aims of life, known as the “purusharthas.” The purusharthas come to us from the Mahabharata, which is the well known Indian poem that includes The Bhagavad Gita, and are intertwined into yogic philosophy deeply.

Purusha” means “soul.” The soul never leaves, it stays as energy into the universe, my opinion only by the way. “Artha” is interpretated as “the ability” or “for the purpose of.” Together, this would mean that purushartha translates into “for the purpose of the soul..” So the question is — does your daily routine support and reflect your purpose and your deep inner self? Let’s just talk about the first Aim of life today.

Dharma – Dharma essentially means duty, although it is a little more than duty. Your dharma has to do with being righteous, responsible, dutiful, and true to your purpose. It has to do with making sure you take care of your responsibilities and your duties on a daily basis. This can be hard sometimes. We get caught up in “jobs” that may not be our purpose, and as such we are not dutiful or responsible. Dharma also pertains to responsibilities and karma you are born into. Some people are born into family businesses and it is seen as part of their dharma that they continue the family business. If you have a special talent or gift you have been given since birth, it might be part of your dharma to utilize the gift you’ve been given.

Dharma includes not only the duties and responsibilities we inherently have, but also the karma and duties we take on through our choices. If you have chosen to have pets, it is part of your dharma to make sure that they are taken care of. If you are a parent, your dharma includes taking care of your child(ren). If getting married is your chosen dharma, then you have a duty to your spouse.

Dharma is a combination of your family obligations, the obligations which you are born into, your talents, and your choices, dharma can be ever-changing. Your dharma at 18 will likely be very different from your dharma at 40 or 65.

While dharma can be changing, what is constant is that to fulfill your dharma, you must do whatever you are obligated to do, and do it well, or to the best of your ability. It is totally possible, and common, that one may work a job to help support a family obligation, which is fulfilling dharma in itself. However, if you find yourself working at a job that you dread attending or that drains you of all your energy, you may not be aligned with your dharma.

So some things to think about. Are you living your Dharma? Do you know what your Dharma is? Has your Dharma changed over the years?

I would love to hear anyone’s thoughts on this. I know my Dharma has changed multiple times, I also know looking back I may not have done my duty with righteousness and responsibility. As I’m moving forward I am applying these Aims to help guide me.

I hope to see some reply’s and comments. We will talk about the second Aim tomorrow.

Resuming where we left off! 1 whole week!

A lot can happen in 7 days. That’s how long it’s been since my last blog post.

We were talking about the Yimas and Niyamas. Which is a part of the 8 limbs of yoga. So the the 3rd limb of yoga is the asanas.

The Asanas are our poses we do, to stay in meditation longer. The longer we can stay in meditation the more we can learn about ourselves. Having a leaner body or to be able to sit comfortably free from distractions so we can contemplate the universes and our place in it.

Pranayama is the 4th limb of yoga which broken down means Prana is life force while ayama means to control or extend. Learning to breathe properly is essential. The practice of yoga calls ya to pay close attention to the process of our breathing, something we take for granted.

There are many types of breathing techniques that we can use to cleanse and help meditate. We will discuss those in a whole other section.

The 5 limb of yoga is Pratyshara, which means basically withdrawal from the senses. Pratyahara is self observation and controlling our senses. Pratyahara is the ability to maintain inner peace when you are surrounded by chaos. It is withdrawing from the senses and bringing awareness inside. We rely on Pratyahara to turn the gaze inward, while remaining objective. Pratyahara assists us with finding power over our cravings or habits that are self-destructive. I often find myself going inside during turmoil to find silence to work out what’s going on.

Dharana – Dharana is concentration. Each one of the 8 limbs of yoga prepares us for the next limb. Praytahara helps us to escape the senses and draw inside so that we can prepare for dharana, or concentration. Dharana is focusing on one single item. Perhaps one uses dharana to focus on God, or a being higher than oneself. Dharana might also be a focus on an unrelated single point, such as a sound or something happening inside the body. Concentration prepares the mind for meditation.

Our 7 limb is Dhyana – Dhyana is meditation. In meditation (dhyana), one experiences uninterrupted concentration, non-duality, the experience of little or no thought process happening. It differs from dharana in that dharana involves concentration on one point, whereas dhyana is concentration with no focus whatsoever. Imagine totally emptying the mind in an uninterrupted concentrated state – that is dhyana.

Our 8th limb is Samadhi – Samadhi is to stand outside of. This is a stage of ecstasy. Once you come into oneness with the focal point from your concentration in the dharana stage, you reach samadhi. It is about connection — connection to self, connection to something greater than self, connection to all living things, connection to divine energy, connection to bliss or happiness. Some refer to this as enlightenment. Others may name it peace. It is the final stage of the 8 fold path and the goal of the other 7 limbs.

So you see limbs 1-6 are things we do. Limbs 7-8 are things that happen to us as we work through the first 6 limbs.

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